As a professional Athlete I learned a lot. It wasn’t all about physiology, nutrition, strength training and competitive racing. The most important thing that I learned was the ability to take it one step at a time. There is no future if there is no now. When faced with a grand challenge, goal or race (i.e. the Olympics for me) it did not serve me to focus on the end game. When I did get wrapped up in the fact that I was trying, everyday, to better myself to Olympic caliber I got lost.
During the Olympic year my body stopped responding and I stopped getting faster for the first time in my career as a rower. I ended many days in tears not understanding why, all of the sudden I was not getting faster. I did many physical tests trying to figure out what was wrong. But there was nothing physically wrong with me.
It took me months of self discovery and sleepless nights to get the fact that I was not staying present. I had gotten so wrapped up in the “Olympics” (even though they were months away) that I was not totally focused on the time I was actually in. When I was able to let go of my end goal, I was able to get faster again. I realized that no matter what I was going to be OK. Make it or not, I was going to be OK. It was then that I could let go of the bigness of my goal and just focus, one step at a time, on getting there.
This idea/realization came to me from many influences but most of all it was a self-discovery provoked by the readings of Zen Buddhist philosophy. My realization that everything was going to be OK gave me permission to know that everything was OK. There was nothing that I could do but be totally present in each moment and ride the journey that I was on. This idea contrasts much of what sport is about. Being an athlete, at any level, is about bettering yourself. As an athlete you are constantly working to be better than your competition and better/stronger that you are today. So then, how can we be perfect in each moment and also work towards a goal?
I believe that the only way to truly be at your best (in the future or right now) is to put all of your energy into the moment you are in. That certainly doesn’t mean that you can’t have goals. Goals are a great tool for focus and motivation. To me, what it means is once that goal is in place, and you have a plan, let it go. The journey towards any goal, no matter what it is, is going to be filled with ups and downs; surprises and monotony; success and failure. It is in all of it, good and bad, that you get stronger. Let go of not being good enough right now because you are where you are. You are beautiful and you are strong. Accept this moment, with all of its imperfection. Let this moment be the moment that guides you to the next. Then when the next moment comes let that one guide you to the next. That is the journey. You will get where you are going.
Maman Bohème 